Lindsey v. Women

The thing about the tantrums we saw last week, both from Brett Kavanaugh and Lindsey Graham, was that they both sounded like men who had been spending way too much time with the "president."  It makes sense, doesn't it, that if he can get away with it, they can too.  And they did.

Women like Susan Collins, who pretend to be pro-women, are really throwbacks, as are any republican women who will tolerate and make excuses for raging men, and minimize the assaults on women.  I guess because she is a women, successful in the republican party, she knew to keep her head down, study the notes she was given, and act like she was taking the high road.

The double-talk we heard last week may have taken us by surprise, but shouldn't have.  It was the same double-talk we heard during the Clarence Thomas hearing.  The woman was confused; the woman allowed herself to be put in that position; the woman waited until she had something to gain (?!) by coming forward when she did; while we sympathize with the woman, we don't believe her.  The man is having his reputation destroyed; his family and career are being harmed; his sincerity cannot be doubted.  Lies excused, attacks rationalized.

Why wouldn't Kavanaugh stick it out?  He had powerful and loud men on his side.  Donald Trump has insulted every-damn-body in the world, and knows that they will stand by him as long as he has power to wield.  And, like Clarence Thomas in 1991, Kavanaugh ends up not having his family and career destroyed:  he ends up with a lifetime appointment on the Supreme Court.

And then there is Lindsey.  He has been taken for a ride -- and not just on the golf course -- more than once by Trump.  But he has what Trump preys on:  ambition.  So he has been strung along since November of 2016, at first tentatively throwing his support, and then with more fervor, no, fever.  What we witnessed from Graham last week was nothing short of hysteria.  He was indeed crazed.

Like Kavanaugh, he had been spending a lot of time listening to presidential rants and invective, to the point where reason was a distant memory, calm was no longer even in the repertoire.

So it was no surprise that after Graham's rant, women -- and good men -- across the country rose up with outrage.  We need to do something NOW, and the passion and determination is NOW.

I was not surprised to receive an email during that time from the South Carolina Democratic Party.  What did surprise me was that they were promoting past chair and bombast Jaime Harrison as their choice to oppose Lindsey Graham in 2020.

First of all, I have heard Harrison speak just a few times, including a couple of appearances on Rachel Maddow before the 2016 SC primaries.  I may be wrong, but it seems that whatever question he is asked, Harrison will respond with a long-winded replay of who he is and how he got here.  Harrison's success as chair can only be summed up by the Democrats' losses in local, state and national government during his reign.

That said, the most important thing about where the party stands today is that they are not RIGHT NOW promoting a woman to run against Lindsey Graham in 2020.  With the successes of women running for office across the country, with the rage and determination that resulted from the mockery of a Senate Supreme Court nomination hearing, it never occurred to our state party that Graham's assault was an invitation.

Had the situation been reversed -- and I am happy to say that wouldn't have ever happened -- but if it had -- by the end of the tirade, there would have been meetings and "bindersful of women" to parade in front of the electorate; fund raising emails promising the revenge of victimized women would have gone out in minutes.

While republicans disdain women, they know how to use us.  That is why we had a Nikki Haley as governor, but we can't seem to promote and elect a Democratic woman governor.  It pains me to say it, but they will use Nikki all the way to the presidency, and she will be happy to be used.

We do have fantastic women on the political stage in South Carolina.  While the party might jump on board when they smell success, they don't put their money or their mouth into finding and promoting women that are right here for the running.

We don't just have smart and motivated women, we have organizations right here in South Carolina that will help.

Right off the top, we have South Carolina Democratic Women's Council, and local chapters, including Charleston County Democratic Women.  I wish I could say women were well represented on the Democratic Party websites, but you have to look hard to find them.  If you want to hook up with the Women's Council or CCDW, your best bet is to look on Facebook.

Then there are the women's action networks that have grown HUGE since 2016.  WREN -- Women's Rights and Empowerment Network -- is fighting for women's issues across the state, from wage equality to healthcare to empowering women to seek leadership roles in business and, yes, politics.  Emerge America opened its doors in South Carolina in 2017.   I can't speak highly enough about the work they are doing to encourage and train women to run for political office.  Thinking you can do a better job than the jackasses now in office?  Get in touch with Emerge SC.  Want to help women who have decided to run?  Contact Emerge SC.

And of course we have great groups here in South Carolina like Planned Parenthood Action Fund and the American Association of University Women, both of which can be counted on to promote women in government as well as women's issues in healthcare and education.

Then there are all the women right here, right now, that we should be persuading to take on Lindsey Graham.  Just a few names come to mind; I'm sure we can put our heads together and think of lots more:

SC Representative Gilda Cobb-Hunter from Orangeburg 

Linda Ketner, who in 2008 nearly defeated 4-term incumbent Henry Brown for US Congress District 1 

Margie Bright Matthews, SC state Senator for District 45

State Senator Mia McLeod from Richmond County, 

So, here we are.  Do we jump up and down and wave our hands so that our Democratic Party will listen to us?  Do we -- both women and men -- insist on being represented equally in government and especially in the Democratic Party?

And most important TODAY, after Lindsey Graham invited us to step up and challenge him, do we find a woman who will fight for us, so that a misogynist like Lindsey will not be holding down that seat and voting against our interests in Congress after 2020?

Write, call, email your state and local Democratic Party.  They won't take this step unless it is absolutely clear we will accept no less.  Spread the word on Facebook, at home, at work, community meetings.

Finding and supporting a woman to step up and take on Lindsey Graham for Senate in 2020 needs to start now.  And it should really be a no-brainer.

It is time for Lindsey to go.  And he seems to agree.

"I hope the American people can see through this sham."

Women Hauling Off

At my tennis clinic, the instructor told a relatively new player to just haul off, hit the ball as hard as you can.  Then she explained that men and boys had no problem doing that; she never had to tell them to let go and hit it as hard as they can.  Women and girls were more tentative, so she would tell us not to worry about getting it right, but to just wallop it.  It worked.  The young woman hit some amazing shots after that advice.

I recently went to the Charleston launch party for Emerge America, a wonderful group created to encourage and assist women to step up and run for office.  I was told that whereas men will get involved confident that they can do a better job than others, extremely competent women all too often hold back because they don't feel competent enough to run for office.

I admire women who have great confidence.  I grew up in a blue collar family with an immigrant father.  As the oldest, even as a girl, my parents had high hopes for me.  They thought, as smart as I was, I should become a teacher.  They didn't tell me about it, but I heard that they were proud of me for going to college, but it was rough going.  And yet, I did make it through, and ended up getting all the way through to a Ph.D.  My father's reaction when I told him I was going back to school for a doctorate could best be described as confused derision.  "You already went to school.  Why do you have to go back?"

In a nutshell, my relationship with my father began with him telling me, as a child, how smart I was.  And then, when I began to have opinions that were different from his, I became someone who "thought I was so smart."  So, no confidence building there.

Hillary Rodham Clinton had a father who could not imagine her not being able to do anything a man could do, and do it better.  Same for Elizabeth Warren.  Women who grew up with fathers who saw them as equal to men, and able to compete and excel tend to do that.  Here in my later years, when I catch myself criticizing myself or worrying over some social anxiety or other nonsense, I mutter, "Thanks, Dad," and then get on with it.

But those insecurities that most women incorporate from childhood are reinforced in society:  lower pay, sexual stereotypes and harassment, lower expectations despite greater responsibility, and so many more subtle social forces.  The attack on reproductive rights is one of the more critical fronts intended to keep women from having the same control over their lives as have men.

The good news is, the backlash is here.

I am thrilled at the generation of younger women who are moving women forward today.  They have been, over the years, more visible in the arts, in the media, in finance and in politics.  But the Women's March on January 21 was the explosion that caused us to look around and see that we were the ones that would change the sad course that history had been taking.  We were the ones that weren't getting tangled up in questionable arguments and slippery slopes.  United, we stood for everyone.

So, as the 2018 midterms approach, thousands of women across the country are stepping up.  And groups like Emerge America and WREN -- Women's Rights and Empowerment Network -- are there to help.  Because we know what the country needs, but may not have the tools to get through the man-made maze of red tape to get there.

You won't be surprised to hear that women attempting to run for office experience a bias that excludes, ignores or minimizes their candidacy.  In a South Carolina special election primary a few short months ago, an older white businessman ran against a young black woman.  People from in and out of state eagerly signed up to help in his campaign, some fairly big names with the national party, bombarding Facebook and email in-boxes.  The State ran an article headlined:  "In SC Congress Race, Goldman Sachs Executive Faces Student."  The "student" was a woman who had spent six years in the military, working as a paralegal in an Army JAG legal affairs office.  Hard to imagine a headline written for a man that did not include "military veteran."

And yet, with little to no help from state or national party, she ended the primary with 22 percent of the vote.

I am also discerning a subtle and dangerous pattern as people enter 2018 races.  A woman enters a race.  Then, seeing no great risk, a man jumps in.  And then more well-known men jump in to support him.  And then the woman gets ignored or minimized.

Gods, I hope I am wrong.  But I am writing today to alert all you women and the men who are strong and confident enough to support us, because we will need to be aware of the biases and fight harder to be heard as we run for office.  When we see something like that ridiculous headline in The State, or a primary being held as though the male candidate's win was a given, we need to not just speak up, but yell.  We need to support the great and talented women that have stepped up with all we've got.

We need to "haul off."